***Baby Houston is no longer Baby Houston....she is Baby Flower...****
...Am I sad or what???
Baby Houston, 1 day old

Baby Houston and Buttercup 

This is pathetic...

You wanna know something terribly pathetic? It's the fact that my COW has had two babies in two years and I can't seem to get pregnant myself. I think she is over in the field chuckling at me now...."haha...You ignorant human...It's done like this." As she waddles her fat ass back down the pasture. Freggin' cow.

So that is my good news, too. My cow had another baby!! A little bull. The bad thing is that I didn't even know she was pregnant. It is a tiny little baby, too. She is a big cow anyway, so it's hard to tell when she is pregnant. But she and baby are doing fine, and I'll post pictures of the new arrival very soon.

Things here are still pretty busy. Today I am off, since I'm closed on Fridays. But tomorrow is packed again. So far I am still loving it. I am now on CD 7 and ready to start BD'ing like crazy again this month. I'm really supposed to be cleaning my house right now, since I have not had a day to myself this week, but I need to catch up on my 'compooting' too. I feel like I have neglected everyone, I haven't sent out emails in forever.

I got good news about my son this week. He will be staying in the Early Childhood Special Education class that he has been in for 3 years. I know most parents don't want their children to be retained, but that is my goal with Chandler for a few years. The class that he is supposed to be going to is a regular kindergarten class, that has tons of kids in it, all with disabilities, but none as severe as his. So they have more of a "classroom" setting. Chandler can not do that. The class he is in is more like a day care, that teaches him sharing, table manners, etc. I know most people say, at 5 he should know that stuff...Chandler has the mind of a 12 month old and probably always will, so we teach him what 1 years olds must be taught. So he is allowed to stay in his class again next year and have the same teacher, the same room, the same aide, the same everything. Routine is the key, and anyone with a child that has any kind of disability knows how important routine is. So I'm so happy he is staying. Chandlers teacher has been an angel sent from God to us. She has done so much with him since he has started school, it is very clear to me that she is not in this job for that paycheck...She truly loves her job and she loves her children. That in itself is a blessing. Not many people can do what she does every day, but she does it, and she smiles the whole time. So to all the teachers out there, thank you. In my opinion, you don't get thanked enough.

I have to go now. I have too much to do around the house to sit here all day. Have a great day!

Sorry...

I realize that I have been neglecting my blog. The groom shop has been swamped with customers...little furry raggedy messes that have not seen a brush all winter... so this has been on the back burner. I am ready to start a new month of TTC and getting over the visit of AF.

I have also been working in the evenings on a new website for the groom shop. It's under construction, but take a look here.

Hope everyone is well. Take care.

She arrived...

As most of you could already tell, AF arrived Saturday with her vengeance. Just in time to leave town to go to my neice's birthday party...who knew that people would take babies to a birthday party? But there seemed to be an over-abundance of them. I felt like crap, so that set my mood, and then to see these fat cheeked little smiley babies, it nearly crushed me. And I cannot even count the number of women who asked "when are you guys having another?".....I wanted to scream. So today I feel like a toad. I am so crappy feeling, so sad, and so T-totally let down, I can't even express it. I hope everyone else is doing good. I need to catch up on everyone's blogs...sorry I am behind.

And thank you for all the comments, it lets me know that people care and that I do actually have people taking their time to read my blog. And to the ladies of PW, you are my rock. Thank you.

My job

This is some of my work. This is TJ before his groom....

TJ after his groom... 

Is this impending doom?

OKay, so just as I do every other morning at 6:10 am, I wake up, cut off the alarm, then take my temperature...I was optimistic a few days ago, now I am just plain uncertain. My temps have been so good until today, and I got a dip. It's not a dip that goes bel;ow my coverline, though, so does this mean that I'll get my period tomorrow?? Anyone know? Anybody... I just don't know anymore, it all gets a little overwhelming.

I have convinced myself not to test until tomorrow when I am officially late, but don't take that as I am dead set on not testing. I have walked into that bathroom way too many times today and practically had to drag myself out. I was so unsure of waking up this morning, that I didn't hardly sleep last night. I'm sure tonight will be a re-run. If only I knew, then I could just drink myself to sleep.

It has been a really dreary day today. It's cool out and looks like rain, but none yet. The gardens could definitely use the rain. It would save me from dragging the water hose out this evening, too. We have to go to Roanoke tomorrow for a birthday party for my neice....yay. I love ebing with family, but driving two hours to spend two hours at a park for a party is not my idea of fun... forgive me.

There really isn't much here to report other than my infertility, so I will leave you to do whatever it is that you do when you don't read my blog. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

My post...

I'll be amazed if this even makes it to the blog, I can't seem to get blogger to cooperate with me. So, I'll make it short and sweet. I am on CD 25 of 26, took an HPT, and got a negative...maybe it is too early still. I guess I will wait until I am officially "late" to re-test. I have lots of symptoms of being pregnant, but it could also be the evil witch ready to show her face, too. Well, wish me luck everyone!
'Nuff said....

Lazy Sunday

I know I am over-analyzing everything these days, but if you'll take a look here you can see why I might be a little anal about my chart today. I am totally wishing today would hurry up and be over with just so I can wake up in the morning and see what my temp will be for tomorrow. I had the "implantation dip" that everyone refers to today. So stupid me, I go and Google "Implantation Dip"...pretty much everything I came back with was either really reassuring or really negative (that it is a myth) so I am going to stay my optimistic self today and say the dip in my temp was real good.

I got Gracie's dress made today, and I have to say I think it is too big. I was afraid of that. I know patterns tend to run large, so I will just hang it up for next year...after I hem it. But I still plan on taking a picture of it. I am pleased with it though. I just love little girls in dresses in the summer time and she loves to wear them, I guess they are cooler on her and she is my little sweat hog.

So today has been pretty lazy. Daniel had to work all day. I got pretty ticked off at PW today. People's attitudes just really shock me sometimes. Hoe dare you come on to a site like that and pretty much demand a response?? I try to reply if I know what I am talking about, but I really didn't know this girl all that well, so I didn't respond. Well, I held my tongue long enough until she really irritated me. Then I had to respond. There is no sense in acting like a child like she did. She really rubbed a lot of people the wrong way so I know it's not just me.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. I have to go and find something for dinner now. It's a late dinner time tonight since Daniel worked...yuk. Take care everyone!! And lots of baby dust*****

Just thinking...

I'm sitting here typing this while I watch my grandparents in their garden. I know that sounds corny, but my Grandad is 94, and my Grandma is 91. They are planting their garden, something they have done for their whole life. So I'm thinking to myself, do I even want to be alive when I am 94? But then I look out at them again and think, if life can be like that, then count me in. Don't get me wrong, they have their ailments, my Grandma has dementia, so she has trouble even remembering who are, but she can still get around pretty good. I will admit that they are hard people to be around. They repeat themselves so often that it is hard to even carry on a conversation with them. But just knowing that they have been blessed with such a long life, I know that God has them in his hands. My Grandad was a minister just about all his adult life. He also was a worker. I have never known anyone who can work as hard as he, and still have the energy to move in the evenings. One of his gardens is five times the size of mine, and he is out tilling it, never missing a step. I tilled my graden two days ago, and I am still having trouble lifting my arms. I guess I should be happy that both of my children know their great-grandparents. And hopefully, they will be around to see our next child. I will end with this, Phaups are known for living into their hundreds....

I am more optimistic than I have ever been about trying to get pregnant. For some reason, I really feel it this time. The bad thing is, I am just waiting for the morning to come that I wake up puking. I am sure it will happen, it alwasy does. Am I crazy for wanting that? I really don't want the sickness, but I do want the baby, and if tha is what it takes, then so be it. The biggest worry I have is how it will affect my children. Chandler did fine with my sickness when I carried Grace, he didn't seem to notice it. But I know Grace will be affected by it. I don't want her worried about me and I do want her taken care of while I am sick. I know I am overly stressing about it all. That is my nature. I am a natural born stresser. But I do feel good about this month. I know I will be testing way too early, and way too often. That is why I buy tests in mass quantities on line....

Daniel is working this weekend. And that is okay since I was running all week and didn't get a lot of house work done. Now I can catch up on it. As if I really wanted to clean all weekend. I bought some fabric yesterday and some patterns to make Gracie some dresses this summer. I hope it works out. I have not sewn anything in years, but with little of my Moms help I am sure I can get back in the swing of things. If they turn out good, I'll take some pictures and post them.

Well, I hope everyone is well, and enjoying their weekend. Let's get some BFP's aound the board!! It's about time we get some! Take care...

Wednesday's blog

Okay, first and foremost, I must put in my opinion of the latest in the news.... why does this happen??? Why is it so freggin easy for Britney and not me?? We can all only imagine what kind of name she'll be calling her son...

My life has been BUSY lately. The weather has been nice, so I have taken advantage and gotten out and worked in the flower beds some. I got my garden plowed, so I can start planting in that soon, too. My Mother in law came to visit over the weekend. She watched the kids and sent Daniel and I on a date. We went shopping , to dinner and ended the night with a movie. It was such a nice day. We saw "The Wedding Date" which I thought was really cute. And we spent an ungodly amount of money while we were out. We have been talking about buying a new computer since mine just does not like to run anymore. But instead I figured we could use a video camera more, and it would be better for us in the long run. Especially now since Chandler is starting to walk, I really needed to capture that on tape, to re-live it over and over. So we splurged and bought one. I am so happy with it. And it was money well spent in my opinion.

On the trying to conceive front...I am on CD 17 today. I am officially in the two week wait, and you're darn skippy I will be a pregnancy test whore this month. I am so optimistic, I can't see straight. See, I've been temping and plugging my numbers into Fertility Friend, ( you can go to my chart here ) and this month has been a good month evidently. According to FF I ovulated on CD 13, which was Saturday...well, it just so happened that we woke up that morning and did the deed. Woo-Hoo! So I am now 4 days past ovulation, and I am waiting for any and all signs I can get. I am so excited. This is the first month that FF has been able to tell me when I am ovulating so it's a really big deal.

I had a talk with my Mom today. I finally told her that Daniel and I are trying for a baby. She got really quiet and even cried some. I know she secretly didn't want any more grandchildren, but this is our family. I am not sure why she feels that way, probably because she knows how terribly ill I get when I am pregnant. She went through the same thing. But this is what we want, and we are trying. I just asked her if she had ever had any trouble at all getting pregnant with any of us kids, and she claims she was fertile myrtle...yay. Just what I wanted to hear. So whatever problem I am having with getting pregnant is my own problem. But it was very awkward telling her that we had kept it a secret for so long, but she didn't seem to mind that. I did ask her to keep it secret from the rest of my family, I really don't need them asking all the time if I am pregnant yet. So we'll see if she holds true to her word...I can only imagine how this will all turn out. I know exactly how my family feels about us having another baby. It seems as if no one wants us to have more kids. My family is just like that. They are all miserable and want everyone else to be in their boat. (Everyone except my Dad) But I refuse to bring myself down like the rest of my family. I am currently the only one in my family that has not divorced so far. My little brother will probably never marry, he just likes being miserable with himself. I just wish they could say they are happy for me and really BE happy for me. We were all so close growing up and now as adults, it has changed so much that I cannot even explain it.

Well, I hope everyone is well. Lesley I know you are in the TWW with me, hang in there, girl, I'm here for ya! Ally, I hope everything goes well in your procedure and with DH, and you can get back on the TTC train next month. Trina, I know we don't email as often as we used to but I still really miss you and think of you all the time. And give those beautiful girls big hugs for me. Take care everyone!

Heather & Daniel  

Gracie's first trip to the beach. Summer of 2004 

Gracie and I Christmas of 2003 

Here is a picture of Daniel and I over the holidays. Of course this is before I got all my hair cut off. 

Friday!!

Okay, so I know I have not been the best person at posting lately, but I have good excuses. Lots of excuses. First and foremost, I am potty training Gracie....how time consuming is that??? No one ever told me how hard that really is. She has a stubborn little head on her shoulders (gee, I wonder who she got that from) and she really likes to pretend that she doesn't know what the potty is for. She selectively forgets that she is supposed to go use it. AGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Anyway that is a pretty good excuse. Other than that, I just have not been real motivated to get on the computer lately.

I have to say this, it is always great to hear from old friends. I finally heard from an old friend today and it was great. I really miss you alot, in more ways than you know. It seems to have been an eternity since we last saw each other. I hate that. But I am glad to know everything is going well for you and you are doing good. Now lets stay in touch!!

I am so glad that it is Friday. It has been a long week. Tomorrow my mother in law is coming to stay with the kids so Daniel and I can have a day out. If I can keep from feeling guilty for leaving the kids, it may be fun. We'll probably have to go to Lynchburg since there is nothing in this town. But we may catch a movie or something. There really aren't many movies playing that I want to see right now, but maybe we can find some cheap theatre that is showing older movies. There are quite a few older ones that I would like to see.

I am on CD 12 now and I think I may have ovulated today. My temp spiked this morning, so we'll see. I know they say that if you have sex "before" ovulation it is most likely going to be a girl, sinec well, we all know girlie sperm are stronger than boys. That's why we as women can have babies and our hubbies just watch. I won't go any further into that. But we have been baby dancing every other day so hopefully, something took. If not.......shit.

I've been trying to do my spring cleaning today, but as you can see I am on the computer now. I get side tracked so easily. But I figure the house has to be spotless for the mommy in law or else she will say something, so why give her the chance. I have already pruned all my plants and made sure they all have just the right amount of water in them, so she can do the finger check to make sure I am doing a good job of keeping my plants alive. FYI, she works in a greenhouse and is a genious about plants...ever hear of keeping your mouth shut about your knowledge???

I'm thinking about having our pictures made tomorrow while we are out. Daniel and I have not had our pictures done since before I got pregnant with Chandler so it is about time. I would love to have family pics done, but we'll have to see about that. Chandler hates having his picture taken professionally. I don't blame him, they want him to sit there perfactly still for so long and he can't understand that.

Well, I am about out of info for the day. I have to get back to cleaning sometime today. Gracie is watching JoJo's Circus and Chandler is napping. I hope everyone is well and hasa great weekend!!