Just thinking...

I'm sitting here typing this while I watch my grandparents in their garden. I know that sounds corny, but my Grandad is 94, and my Grandma is 91. They are planting their garden, something they have done for their whole life. So I'm thinking to myself, do I even want to be alive when I am 94? But then I look out at them again and think, if life can be like that, then count me in. Don't get me wrong, they have their ailments, my Grandma has dementia, so she has trouble even remembering who are, but she can still get around pretty good. I will admit that they are hard people to be around. They repeat themselves so often that it is hard to even carry on a conversation with them. But just knowing that they have been blessed with such a long life, I know that God has them in his hands. My Grandad was a minister just about all his adult life. He also was a worker. I have never known anyone who can work as hard as he, and still have the energy to move in the evenings. One of his gardens is five times the size of mine, and he is out tilling it, never missing a step. I tilled my graden two days ago, and I am still having trouble lifting my arms. I guess I should be happy that both of my children know their great-grandparents. And hopefully, they will be around to see our next child. I will end with this, Phaups are known for living into their hundreds....

I am more optimistic than I have ever been about trying to get pregnant. For some reason, I really feel it this time. The bad thing is, I am just waiting for the morning to come that I wake up puking. I am sure it will happen, it alwasy does. Am I crazy for wanting that? I really don't want the sickness, but I do want the baby, and if tha is what it takes, then so be it. The biggest worry I have is how it will affect my children. Chandler did fine with my sickness when I carried Grace, he didn't seem to notice it. But I know Grace will be affected by it. I don't want her worried about me and I do want her taken care of while I am sick. I know I am overly stressing about it all. That is my nature. I am a natural born stresser. But I do feel good about this month. I know I will be testing way too early, and way too often. That is why I buy tests in mass quantities on line....

Daniel is working this weekend. And that is okay since I was running all week and didn't get a lot of house work done. Now I can catch up on it. As if I really wanted to clean all weekend. I bought some fabric yesterday and some patterns to make Gracie some dresses this summer. I hope it works out. I have not sewn anything in years, but with little of my Moms help I am sure I can get back in the swing of things. If they turn out good, I'll take some pictures and post them.

Well, I hope everyone is well, and enjoying their weekend. Let's get some BFP's aound the board!! It's about time we get some! Take care...