Almost 16 weeks

I figure I sould get my butt in gear and post something before everyone gives up hope on me. Thank you Lesley, for lighting that fire under me to get me to update. I have no excuse other than just not wanting to be on the computer much. The last time I checked on blogs, I read of Ally's loss, and I was devastated. It seems so unfair, and my heart totally goes out to her. Ever since then, I just haven't had much motivation.

I am feeling better. I'm still taking Zofran like it's candy, but I have no choice. It's how I stay out of the hospital. I can't believe that I am still this sick feeling, but oh well. I 've been keeping up with my weight like a hawk...not that I am scared of gaining, but it's nice to gain, when I have tried all my life to gain some weight and never have been able to. I was steady at 115 for several weeks, until a few nights ago, I jumped to 118!! I say it's all boobs, when I am usually a measly B cup (which I am thankful for) and now I am a D cup....it's so humiliating. I think if I still had my normal ones, I would look pregnant, but since my belly has to compete with these monsters above, I just look like I have a pot belly. I'm still getting headaches, quite frequently. The doctor thinks it may be the Zofran...I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I don't take the Zofran, I get sick, if I do take it, I get headaches....go figure. And so far I have not felt the baby move. And I have really been waiting for that to happen. I love that moment when you feel it for the very first time. A life growing inside of you, now moving fo rthe very first time, and you...YOU are the first one to feel it. That, my friend is bonding. Something that not even the father has. I always say, as my kids get older they tend to like their Daddy more, since I am the disciplinarian, the strict one, the one that forces veggies on them, they tend to lean towards him, but i will always have this extra 9 months that he NEVER will have. And that is irreplacable. So that very first movement of my baby is a big moment. One that I try to feel with all my might every day. Believe me, I will blog that day!

My son Chandler is enjoying school, and Gracie is enjoying him being gone for a half day. She takes advantage of the situation and acts out for two kids, rather than her normal demon-like self. I guess she doesn't want me to get used to only having one around. I still have no idea what she will dress as for Halloween...I'm such a slacker. We usually don't take Chandler, it is dark, and he doesn't like that, and he can't eat candy and he hates being strapped in his wheelchair for that long. So we let him stay with grandma, and Gracie goes to get a bag full, and if there is something Chandler can eat, we sneak it to him. She really likes the JoJo costume in the Disney catalog, but $30 for a costume is a bit steep...yes, I'm cheap too. I just have to watch my pennies now since next month is her birthday and then here comes Christmas before we know it. And I always get outta hand with Christmas. I say every year that I will limit my spending, and I never do. By Christmas morning, we have to make a path through the gifts just to get from one side of the room to the other.

Is anyone watching LOST on Wednesday nights? Does that program not ROCK? I love it. Daniel and I curl up on the couch every week and watch it like we are stapled to the couch. And I love how it just draws you back to it every week. I usually hate that about TV, but now, I need something to look forward to every week. And after that we watch Over There on FX( I think) that is an excellent show. I am a war junkie...that sounded bad. Let me say it differently, I love shows and movies about wars.

I opened up my groom shop this week after my two month break. I've been slammed all week, so I am closed tomorrow and for the weekend. I worked myself way to hard the first day, and I regret it. I hate to admit it, but now that I am back at it, I didn't miss it one bit. It's hard work and I am just not up to it, especially the bigger I get....

I just wanted to let everyone at PW TTCOAY know that I still lurk, and I still think of you all often. I just needed a break from the board and I don't feel right going back. I will always be a cheerleader for you ladies, but I don't feel it is appropriate to stay there. I miss you all so much.