I feel so cheated...

I'm venting so there's your warning...

As you may know, my sons parent teacher conference was yesterday. I knew I was pushing my luck simply because our allotted time was from 6:15 to 6:30. We got there at 12 minutes after 6, and waited...until 6:28. Then the teacher came out to get us from her last conference, and as we were walking into the classroom to start our meeting, the Principal came over the speaker and said, Parents, conferences are now over, if you could please leave the building. Fury flew over me so fast, I was determined to get in a word or two. His teacher said ont to worry, we could still have our meeting. During this time, the loud speaker came on with two more announcements, the Principal came into the room two times and the third time she came in, she said that Chandlers teachers ride was there to pick her up, everyone was out of the building, she wanted to leave and was witing on us so she could lock the building. I'm not going to even say what was going through my mind at this point. I will say this, I had to take both kids ot the conference with me, I didn't have a babysitter, and I knew I needed to go. But during the little time that I did have with this lady, she played with Chandler most of the time, telling me how he loves certain toys, etc. He is really into vibrating toys, simply for the stimulation. He has what is called sensory integration disorder, so he needs extra stimulation, from anything he can find. He loves paper, he crushes it up in his hands, and rubs his ears with it, etc. That just gives you an idea of what he likes. So then his teacher goes on to tell us how "inappropriate" toys like these are. He needs things that are made for older children...she recommended going to buy more mature fabric, like camoflouge (sp?) and taking the vibration part of the toy out and covering it with this "more appropriate" fabric. First and foremost, my son is 6 and still has a pacifier. He NEEDS stimulation. If he doesn't have this, he bites his hands until they bleed. So we deal with our 6 year old having a pacifier. And most people are willing to accept things when they see he is in a wheelchair. Not saying that we are okay with having the binky until he graduates, but until we find a replacement that he can handle, we DEAL. She proceeded to tell us about how many times he poops a day, which is no real news to us, he does it at home too! We have had several doctors run tests, he's seen a GI Specialist, he is fine. He just poops a lot. Now, THAT was the extent of our meeting. I drove a half hour to the school and home from the school...1 HOUR of driving to talk bullshit with this woman. Oh, and I should throw in here that she asked what kind of candles I burn at home...I said none now, that Gracie is two, it isn't safe for a while, but when I can I like apples and cinnamon. Oh well that just wont do. He needs vanilla smells, that is much more soothing. Apples and cinnamon stimulate way too much and could get him angry. You wanna know what makes me ANGRY???? My sons teacher!

I noticed that there is a lot of artwork in the classroom, and not much with Chandlers name on it, so she said that is because he is so busy with "other" things, like therapy, etc. He only gets therapy (PT, OT and ST) once a week. That couldn't possibly take up THAT much time. And this is against our doctors recommendations, she sent the school a script for physical therapy twice a week last year and he still isn't getting it. So where exacly is my child for art? I had a notebook page filled front and back of things I wanted to discuss, and I got one thing covered. She told us on our way out the door that we could always reschedule a conference anytime we wanted....well, that is nice, but she will still have to have her husband come and pick her up since she can't drive due to seizures. Not that she can help that, but I really don't feel she is an appropriate teacher knowing she has had several seizures in the middle of class, and anytime she could be holding my 50 pound son, and start to have one.

If you can't tell, I am still fuming over this. I am at a loss for words now. It just doesn't seem fair that we gave up our evening and drove that far, to be put off like that. I didn't even have the chance to give her the letter his doctor wrote to her ripping her a new tail hole due to her lack of teaching skills. I SO wanted to see her face when she read that. But it looks as though I will have to just mail it to her to try and get some things changed.

I just don't know where to go from here...it is all so messed up now.

***This is a great site on Sensory Integration Disorder***

http://www.sensoryinfo.com/

Hump Day

Tomorrow I have a parent teacher conference...it's our first. And I am scared to death. I have so much I want to discuss with Chandler's teacher. There is a lot going on in school that I don't like, and sometimes not enough of therapy, etc. But I want to do this tactfully so that it does not make the remainder of his year miserable. I am thinking about Ally having to go through this too, tomorrow. Sometimes being a Mom is hard work!

I am feeling okay lately. I think I have gained a few more pounds, but I am not watching it quite as closely as I was for a while. That got to the point where I was checking it several times a day. So I may just wait and see what the doctor say on Tuesday when I go for my ultrasound. I am so excited, I cannot wait for Tuesday to get here. I pray that the baby is good and will show me it's stuff.

Not alot going on around here, the cold weather is finally here, and I love the change. The leaves aren't all that pretty this year, unfortunately due to the drought we had this summer. The farm is always so beautiful when the leaves change, but now they just seem to be falling, with no color at all. I am looking forward to finally having a cool Halloween, usually it is hot out, but this year may be different. Of course I am having a family party at the house. The first year we all dressed up, but ever since, just the kids dress up and we just use it as an excuse to get together and eat a ton of food. Not that I need much of an excuse lately.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well. I am checking blogs regularly, and I still go to PW to check out what's going on, unfortunately its not good lately. And the March Birth club is so busy I can't seem to keep up, so I just go and lurk and see if anything catches my attention. I miss all the ladies, it was nice to have somewhere to go and talk about anything, and know that I was not alone. It was so nice having our board when it was fun. Anyway, take care everyone, and have a great week.

Our Pumpkins

 

The burning pit below

If I had wings and fangs, and prickly spines up my back, I could be a dragon....this burning of indigestion is KILLING ME, DAMMIT. Would you believe that breathing alone gives me indigestion? Yes, it does...isn't that just grand? I swear when my husband pisses me off, I could literally breathe fire at him, and then watch his body smolder while I sob that he didn't carry the trash out before his ashes blow away.

I will be 18 weeks tomorrow...I cannot believe that. It just doesn't seem possible. The thought of bringing home a new baby in just over 20 weeks scares the hell out of me. I should be good at it by now, with the two that I already have, but...maybe that's the problem. I know what having a baby is like, I know that it is like rolling a dice, sometimes you have this wonderful happy baby and other times you have a demon. Like tonight, it was WW3 here at my house with my 2 year old, and my husband says "Hun, the next could be worse", I could've slapped him. I love my daughter, but she is so much like me it is scarey. She is as stubborn as I am, as mean as a snake, and smart to boot. So I simply told Daniel that if the next is like her, we will be hiring a nanny, or he can have me committed. Just to give you an example of my life with a 2 year old...we're potty training. And to those of you who have done this, congratulations! But for my demon like child, it isn't so easy. Some days are excellent, others are hell. And to take into consideration that I am trying to paint my kitchen without her painting her whole body....well, that is a task in itself. I could go on and on about life with a 2 year old, but I'll spare you.

We're dog sitting for my mother in law this week, while she is on vacation. Odie is not real fond of children, ont to the mean point, he just has no tolerance. He is so much like an old man it isn't even funny. He demands his food at 6 am and 4 pm, and his potty breaks get to be a bit much, and the damn thing is scared of his own shadow. My husband and I have nicknamed him pansy-ass.

I went to get my flu shot yesterday. My first flu shot EVER, and possibly my last. My arm still aches ( I know, who's the pansy now). I hate shots though. But I got the kids their shots and we go back in a month for their boosters. Yippee....

Other than that, nothing exciting is going on in my life, other than gaining weight, eating all the time, wanting to sleep all the time and don't forget the burning pit of hell in my chest. We did carve pumpkins the other day. That was an adventure...Gracie got to dig in her own pumpkin, and she liked it eventually. So I may just have to post some pics of that occasion.

I hope everyone is well. Take care everyone.

My Belly

Here I am at only 16 weeks....eeeeeeekkk!!!

 

It moved, it really moved!!

I said I would post....You should have known that I could not hold back! The baby has officially moved. Now on to me being dumb...I think it has been moving for a while without my "realizing" it. See, with the first two, it was these little butterfly like movements, little flutterings. Well, these are no flutters. I am not saying they are hurting, but they are stronger than your average butterfly, more like a bat. I am little shocked at how strong they are to be honest. But it is great to finally know that the baby is moving around freely, until it gets so big that it has absolutely NO room. I am feeling good the last few days. My tummy is feeling rather stretched, and I finally measured my tummy today, I am 34 1/2" around. And if I can get my husband off the couch I will take belly picture and post it...MAYBE. No promises.

Not a lot is going on, just the same old sitting around, and chasing the little one on occasion. I do have some stuff to write about, but that will have to be tomorrow at naptime, I have no brain this late. So, until then, I am out.

Almost 16 weeks

I figure I sould get my butt in gear and post something before everyone gives up hope on me. Thank you Lesley, for lighting that fire under me to get me to update. I have no excuse other than just not wanting to be on the computer much. The last time I checked on blogs, I read of Ally's loss, and I was devastated. It seems so unfair, and my heart totally goes out to her. Ever since then, I just haven't had much motivation.

I am feeling better. I'm still taking Zofran like it's candy, but I have no choice. It's how I stay out of the hospital. I can't believe that I am still this sick feeling, but oh well. I 've been keeping up with my weight like a hawk...not that I am scared of gaining, but it's nice to gain, when I have tried all my life to gain some weight and never have been able to. I was steady at 115 for several weeks, until a few nights ago, I jumped to 118!! I say it's all boobs, when I am usually a measly B cup (which I am thankful for) and now I am a D cup....it's so humiliating. I think if I still had my normal ones, I would look pregnant, but since my belly has to compete with these monsters above, I just look like I have a pot belly. I'm still getting headaches, quite frequently. The doctor thinks it may be the Zofran...I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I don't take the Zofran, I get sick, if I do take it, I get headaches....go figure. And so far I have not felt the baby move. And I have really been waiting for that to happen. I love that moment when you feel it for the very first time. A life growing inside of you, now moving fo rthe very first time, and you...YOU are the first one to feel it. That, my friend is bonding. Something that not even the father has. I always say, as my kids get older they tend to like their Daddy more, since I am the disciplinarian, the strict one, the one that forces veggies on them, they tend to lean towards him, but i will always have this extra 9 months that he NEVER will have. And that is irreplacable. So that very first movement of my baby is a big moment. One that I try to feel with all my might every day. Believe me, I will blog that day!

My son Chandler is enjoying school, and Gracie is enjoying him being gone for a half day. She takes advantage of the situation and acts out for two kids, rather than her normal demon-like self. I guess she doesn't want me to get used to only having one around. I still have no idea what she will dress as for Halloween...I'm such a slacker. We usually don't take Chandler, it is dark, and he doesn't like that, and he can't eat candy and he hates being strapped in his wheelchair for that long. So we let him stay with grandma, and Gracie goes to get a bag full, and if there is something Chandler can eat, we sneak it to him. She really likes the JoJo costume in the Disney catalog, but $30 for a costume is a bit steep...yes, I'm cheap too. I just have to watch my pennies now since next month is her birthday and then here comes Christmas before we know it. And I always get outta hand with Christmas. I say every year that I will limit my spending, and I never do. By Christmas morning, we have to make a path through the gifts just to get from one side of the room to the other.

Is anyone watching LOST on Wednesday nights? Does that program not ROCK? I love it. Daniel and I curl up on the couch every week and watch it like we are stapled to the couch. And I love how it just draws you back to it every week. I usually hate that about TV, but now, I need something to look forward to every week. And after that we watch Over There on FX( I think) that is an excellent show. I am a war junkie...that sounded bad. Let me say it differently, I love shows and movies about wars.

I opened up my groom shop this week after my two month break. I've been slammed all week, so I am closed tomorrow and for the weekend. I worked myself way to hard the first day, and I regret it. I hate to admit it, but now that I am back at it, I didn't miss it one bit. It's hard work and I am just not up to it, especially the bigger I get....

I just wanted to let everyone at PW TTCOAY know that I still lurk, and I still think of you all often. I just needed a break from the board and I don't feel right going back. I will always be a cheerleader for you ladies, but I don't feel it is appropriate to stay there. I miss you all so much.