A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !

Today's Thoughts

I have not really sat down and typed anything of much importance lately. Pretty much just updating so it doesn't look like I am such a slacker, but looking at my posts from the last few months, I suck....

I haven't had a lot going through my brain lately, other than baby thoughts, and for those of you that are pregnant or have been pregnant, the baby really does take your brain, doesn't it? It is almost embarrassing at times when people look at me as if I am supposed to be following along in deep conversation, when actually, I am thinking of how my body hurts and the puddle of drool accumulating on my chest shows how dense I really am. No matter what frame of mind I start the day out in, I tell myself okay, today I will NOT only think baby thoughts, and then WHAM! Here they come. Honestly I used to be able to make more than one thought at a time. Those were the good 'ol days.

I've been thinking aout the holidays lately, and how much of a funk I seem to get in the day after Christmas. I know that is lame, but it's like the day after, I just want to crawl into a hole and hide. The excitement is over, the hustle and bustle is over, and I have nothing to do. And this year I am scared it will be worse since January and February are always such long months anyway, and now I am waiting on this soccer ball to be hatched. I call it my soccer ball, since my body feels like the soccer field, always being played on, kicked, fallen on, you know, just how a field would feel. But I started thinking about it lat night in bed, taht this will be my last pregnancy, the last time I ever feel the sensation of a tiny baby rubbing my belly from the inside, the last time I feel arms and legs flailing about inside, the last time I have a human body growing inside of me. Don't get me wrong, I am not thinking twice about having my tubes tied, I do still feel that this child completes me and the happy little family that we have. But it is almost sad to know that this part of my life will soon be over, and there will be no turning back. After this I will focus on being a mommy to these three kids and never thinking about what if there were to be another? I know, my thoughts are pretty much rambling at this point. I seem to trail off into nothingness lately. No wonder Daniel thinks I've been hitting the crack pipe.

Daniel has to work this weekend, but only a half day on Saturday so I am not to upset over that. Chandler is out of school for the holiday break, and Gracie is eating way too many sweets...need I say more? A three year old popped up on chocolate is not good. End of subject. We plan to have a quiet Christmas morning (as quiet as it can be with two kids ripping into gifts) and then we plan to eat a late breakfast and then go to my Moms and have a late lunch and open gifts. Usually they are pretty stress free days, lets hope for the best this year also. I never understood families that run from hous eto hous eto house on Christmas day. We made a promise to each other when we had children that every Christmas, they would wake up in their own home and not have to wonder if Santa would find them or not. That is just my opinion....

I have noto been back to the Pregnancy Weekly TTCOAY board in forever, let me rephrase that, I visit, I just lurk. I don't comment. I am scare dthat my "blinkies" will offend someone, and I don;t know how to take them off just to make simple posts on occasion. I know things got bad there when the burst of pregnancies happened, and it's a shame that people did not handle it well. I felt like we all had a great bond there with what we had going on in our lives, and then once people started getting pregnant, it all changed. It seemed so unfair that a few of us had gotten the special gift that we had all been striving for for so long, and then we were abandoned. We were made to feel bad for finally having our dreams come true. I wish to God every day thatthose ladies could become pregnant, and have their dreams come true, I wish that for them every day. Anyway, I simply wanted to say that I miss that friendship that I once had.

Now that it has taken me all of the day to write this and keep coming back with what I would like to call a fresh mind, I guess I should close this never ending blah. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. And thanks for reading all the way through my mindless rambling.

Christmas 2005

 

My OB appointment

I had my OB appointment yesterday, it went pretty well. It was actually supposed to be on Tuesday but we had snow so I got rescheduled. I am up to 127 pounds now, which is a 6 pound gain from last month, but I am not sweating it...I just had a good Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Christmas is another big eating holiday...

I had my one hour glucose test and since I didn't hear from the nurse today that is a good sign. They said I could call after lunch if I wanted, but if the results came back bad, she would surely call before then. thank God she didn't call. I was on pins and needles every time the phone rang. The baby still seems to be in a weird position, I won't say breech, but she is laying across my tummy. But it is not something I should worry about just yet. Other than that, everything is good, the heart rate was 136.

Chandler is sick, he has bronchitis, and not handling it very well. He has had a fever all week just about. But hopefully, he will feel better soon. And so far Gracie does not have it.

I hope everyone is doing well. I have not been the best at blogging lately, but I am reading, I promise!

Our Family Christmas Photo

Ten Years and counting....

Can you believe that it is already December and the year is almost gone?? It seems like 2005 just got here in a way.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with just my family, and lots of good food. I ate more than enough, which I knew I would do, and it was well worth it. There aren't too many meals where you have that much food in one sitting.I know I gained several pounds that week...

Gracie had her 3rd Birthday party on Saturday, and she loved it. She was so excited for everyone to be coming just to see her. And the fact that there was pizza, cake and punch made it even more fun for her. She did so well, and was so well behaved I could not believe that it was my daughter. She really is growing up so fast. And she got big girl panties and we are on the track to potty training, and she is doing wonderful! If I can get it done by Christmas, I will be happy. Just so I can have like 1 or 2 months to not have to buy pampers before the baby comes. that would be a great break!

I colored my hair the other day...I had used the same highlites when I first got pregnant, and it turned out good, then I went to touch up my roots on Wednesday and it came out horrible....I mean really, really bad. So I had to go out last night looking like an overstuffed scarecrow and buy more haircolor and go back to brown, except I went with a bit of a red tint which is a first for me. And ya know what? I like it!! It is different and maybe that is what I needed. I have no color in my face when I am pregnant and so my eyes look even browner now, so I think it looks good. Thank God.... I really didn't want to have to explain myself to the hair salon.

I have an OB appointment on Tuesday, so I will see just how much weight I have gained recently. Over the holidays, my nephew screwed up my scales so I have not been able to weigh myself since then...maybe it's a good thing. I can feel the baby moving around all the time now, she is really active. So I will update after my appointment.

I am still trying to get things done for Christmas, I have lots more to buy. Although I am done shopping for my children, I still haven't done anything for Daniel or any other family member. And I really don't know when I am going to get a babysitter and get out to do anything.

We had our 10th Anniversary yesterday. TEN YEARS. How amazing is that??? I am so lucky to have found the perfect man. We didn't do anything at all to celebrate. We didn't have a sitter for the kids, so we went to McDonalds and brought home food and watched a movie in the floor. It was so nice. I wouldn't have it any other way. I know giving gifts is nice, but we don't have to give gifts every year to express our love for each other. We know it is there, and always will be no matter what.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!