I'm still in a mood...

I guess tonight, I will be taking Lesley's words of advice and I am going to order myself a pizza, drink myself something strong enough just to get a good buzz on, and then watch myself some sappy movies that would make my husband want to vomit. I know I said I would cut his hair tonight, but what's one more day? I am in no mood to cut his hair anyway.

My Mom, get this, has never pumped gas in her life. EVER. She has always told us as we were growing up that it is not a womans place to pump gas...whatever. Back here in reality, I pump my own gas for my own van. So she has the nerve to call me this morning ( in the midst of our not speaking to each other) and say that she needs to go pick up Joshie dearest (my little punk brother) and she is almost out of gas....here's comes the favor. Can you go pump my gas for me while I watch the kids for you? Okay, so you are too good to pump gas, but your pathetic excuse for a daughter can pump your gas??? Oh I was furious. But rather than fight with her, I accept her job offer and go pump gas and come back unhamed, unashamed and very proud that I am WOMAN enough to pump my own GAS. ROOOAAARRRRR, (banging fists on chest) in case you have not picked up on my tone so far, I am REALLY IN A MOOD.

I have decided, you know what's worse than Aunt Flo showing up? Day 2 of Aunt Flo. Day one she is just working herself into my schedule, day 2 she is here for the long haul. And it is B-A-D
bad, bad. But by day 3, the hormones are in check, acne at bay, and my mood hopefully will be a lot better. I know that I am blaming my period for a lot of my mood, which it is not completely the reason. I am going through one of the toughest times of my life right now, I cannot even write about it. I know that it is driving me into a depression that I don't even want to recognize. I am eating non-stop, crying non-stop and I have no faith in anything at this point. I'm struggling to keep my sanity, to keep it together, and to stay afloat. Everything I ever had with my family, is gone. I feel so betrayed, I may not ever come out of this.

Okay so it is now Tuesday night and I am just finishing this post, but I had to stop or else I was headed somewhere I didn't want to be. As of now, I am LOADED. I read that Lesley said to eat pizza and drink, so I did so. And it really only takes very little for me to get drunk off of. But, I feel no pain. And I am going to bed. Now, at approximately 9 pm. What a dork. But the room is spinning too much for me right now. Nighty night.